wow

hm? let's see, I need to get back to god. not that I've been away frm him, I've been away frm my fellow church family. its been a month now. everythings been climbing ontop of me. babysitting, family help. and now rays lola is in the hospital. pray the best for her. please. I would hate to see one go. It would hurt me inside to see him n his family feel the pain. :( sighs, its been half a year now since me n him been talking. I'm actually really proud. I jst hope all this time together doesn't go to waste. mm, idk. so saturday, the plan was to go meet my dad for the first time. and boy was I nervous. I couldn't think, I could hardly breathe, I was shooken up inside all I wanted to do was cry. I don't even know why. but it didn't happen. I didn't get to see him. why? I'm not sure. but the more I'm getting closer and closer to meeting him, the more I start to get weak. the more I start to crave. the more I want to meet him. eh I think ill end it here for now. hands are cramping I'm getting tired. goodnight<3