makes me want to just sit, stare and maybe read a book out on the lake.
I am wanting... so many things. ( or just two in general )
I don't know what I should do but to grasp whatever I can get a hold on to. So far so... calm.
I feel as if I'm missing something that I need. ( I have a feeling it's two people )
- my dad
*my dear... ?
^ I'm not even sure about that second one... Let's just see what god has in store for me as I keep moving.
- ugh I should be sleeping .. but I can't. I keep staring up at my ceiling. Wondering what the stars look like tonight. My parents are out and I'm keeping an eye on lucas while he's fast asleep.
I want something to happen. Something that would like change my life, even though everyday of my life changes. Gosh, I'm being so selfish I want so many things right now. All I can do is wait. wait. and wait. I mean it's not bad to wait, it's just I've been waiting for so long.
I keep giving and giving, leting things slide making everything ok again. I keep my mouth shut. My mind wide open. I suddenly want get by with things fastly even though I shouldn't. live life slow and love every moment. I'm longing for _ existence in my life. I wanna be completely satisfied ( which I am ) and feel amazing ( which I don't ) ray's right, maybe I do complain to much. but there's nothing I'm complaining about.. I just want . Forgive & never forget yet I pass by it. Oh how I wish that it was summer again, I really need to get out of here. Time alone in the quiet with nothing around me but nature itself. Maybe I should just forget about all this once more and just keep going the same way as usual, in time it would change. I just need to stop being so selfish and just be patient. I waited so long, I guess I can just wait a bit more. Sorry, but as I write down what's on my mind, everything get's a bit more clearer for me. I just need one thing.
& I need god...
random thought : I wonder if it'll ever happen..
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