I miss him.

Bob Marley

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

open the eyes of my heart

CHRISTMAS & A NEW YEAR IS COMING UP !

mmmmmm, new years resolution??
- maintain my gpa 3.5 & Up

We accept the love we think we deserve. Never the love our Lord hands out to us.

well not that anyone reads my blogs anymore

I stil write.

for him:
- hm, it'd just be nice if you would let me know every now and then how you feel..
I kinda need the attention, I feel as if I'm not good enough.. I want to be able to just forget about it, and just know that you'll always be here, that you do like me, and that everything will be okay. I have faith in us, but I just don't want to be wrong. Can you at least let me know?? =/

giving thanks

Eh, i know it's way past thanksgiving, but w.e

First off I wanna give thanks to my loving savior.Without him, none of us would be here. Without him I wouldn't be able to do anything, I wouldn't be able to find myself like The Lord has done for me. I want to thank you for always being here, for always being the best for always loving me and letting me remember who I am and where I'm suppose to be. Thank you, I love you.

Next, My Mom & Oltion.
Mom you have always been there for me, no matter how many times I've been rude to you, no matter how many times I wasn't here to help you and how many times I've gotten into trouble you always stuck by my side and never gave up on me. I know you haven't always been here for me through the hardest times, but you never leaving is still okay for me. Today if it wasn't for you I'm not sure where I would be. You actually give me the courage to do things all though you don't ever really say anything to me.. I still love you, and I know you're still trying, I'm trying too.
Oltion, I wanna thank you because you actually stuck around for so long, even when I was such a horrible child. You're still here to help , and you're very caring, I love that you make my mom happy. thank you for all you two have done for me. I love you both to death.

I wanna thank GPC for being a second family to me. I love you guys, you guys are the best. Always there to listen, always there to make my day. I know I haven't been to Youthgroup lately, I miss you guys all. I just want to thank you guys for all the help and comfort you guys gave to me. & to help me recover the relationship with Jesus once again. Thank you.

Raymond Manio, I'm very thankful that God has brought us together. Sometimes you say things that are just unnecessary, and very hurtful. But I know you don't mean it. I try my best to understand you, although I won't ever get the full thing just the gist of it all. You try to be there for me, and I know how much you care. You haven't given up on me and I'm glad that you haven't. We've been talking for quite a while now, almost a year, and you mean so much to me. I care about you a lot, and I don't ever want see you hurt. Being with you is just the greatest feeling. With you, I feel at ease, and I can be myself. You teach me how to be a better person. Even though you may not know this, but You do a lot for me. Thank you.

JAKN'M, Each and everyone of you girls, I'm very thankful to have you guys in my life. Without you guys I wouldn't know where I would be, who I would be with, what I would do in my highschool days. haha you guys are the best, Even though we're not the same as we were last year, and we all don't hang out together or talk . I still love you guys . You guys were always there for me no matter what, always down, we had so much fun, and we were just our complete self. I miss all the times that we share, and I honestly wish we were back to how things were...

FAMILY, I'm just very thankful to have you guys be apart of my life, and in my family. I love you guys so much, I miss you guys all. Without any of you, I wouldn't be who I am today. You guys taught me so much, gave me so much, care so much and love so much.

I think that's all I really want to give thanks to. Thank you & goodnight.

God Bless All.

congrats to the newly weds! :D

so this weekend was absolutely great! I'm so happy for my auntie and her new husband ;] the wedding was super fun. haha super tiring though. I had to wear traditional mienh clothing for the first time. very painful. But it was nice to experience you know? Hhahaha um, me and ray super great! :D school is going good! although i haven't went for last three days because I had a temp. of 106!! O_O yup, anyways ray should be on his way, so I'm gona take a shower. haha I haven't wrote anything in here awhile, but yeah um peas<3

god bless all!!

..

there's nothing blogworthy today . hahaha

Here we go again.

If I could snap reality into this guys head I would've done it months ago.

mmmm

we all start to loose it sometime. it's ok, jst remember you'll get through it.

god - tremendous
school - great
family - great
friends - okay
ray - blank..
dad - O_O

blah blah. um i just want it to be christmas already and have lots of snow<3

eyes stinging

well it's science. and like it's after hc day. I feel really bad for ditching, but I had too .. i feel a weird vibe that people are irritated that i ditched.. sighs. people need to get over it. it was my choice. & I'm sorry about it , but like honestly if i didn't miss hc, i would've been down.

right place wrong time - avant

it's pouring down rain outside, and I wish it would never stop.

my dear,
I love you. I wish you could see that.

did he ever really love me?

:l

i need help.

You may not be her first, her last or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she's not there. - Bob Marley

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? Or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart. If you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid to losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on it's own when you least suspect it or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done or could have had.

-Anonymous - got from nina saechao's blog.

a man who respects his woman enough to stand up for her when she is not around, is a man who values his relationship with her whether she knows it or not.

change

I've been thinking. I haven't been thinking lately, but I've been thinking a lot. Not just about one thing, but about a whole lot. Not just me, but everyone else too. Not just the people I know, but the people that I've never met as well. Not even just that, but everything in the world. It's not long thinking, just short things. Everything, Everyone pops up. & as I look out, in my mind it just replays back to back. Where are they going? What are they doing? Do they know what's going? All these questions. & to myself, I say: 'I wanna be there to help' but how? not everybody takes a hand. why not try? some will say, well It's not easy when you're just one person you know? & I wonder what can I do, to make other people go out there and help? How can I help those who has no one on their side? Well I can be there on their side. So can you. I don't know, maybe you guys who read my blogs just think I'm going a little nuts, but you know it's true. Why are rude to those who are rude to us? Shouldn't we be nice back to show that they should act the same? & if they don't care, they'll always remember. They'll always wonder why you were so nice to them , when they were cruel. If not now, it'll get to them sooner. Because everyone you talk to , everyone you see, everyone whose talked to you, or seen you. You may not know, it may not be true, but sometimes, 1 out of 3 chances, you probably changed their lives forever. Maybe not their lives, but their ways. I'm not sure how to say all this, maybe this'll help; It's not how skilled you are, how smart you are, how strong you are, how much money you have, or how you look, etc. it's the kindness in your heart that affects the world. That's pretty much it. Because when I look out to the world, All I see is everyone on the edge, even myself. Its really sad to see your world die slowly. Everyone talks about how they want to see change in the world, well that could happen if you start on your own.

wow

hm? let's see, I need to get back to god. not that I've been away frm him, I've been away frm my fellow church family. its been a month now. everythings been climbing ontop of me. babysitting, family help. and now rays lola is in the hospital. pray the best for her. please. I would hate to see one go. It would hurt me inside to see him n his family feel the pain. :( sighs, its been half a year now since me n him been talking. I'm actually really proud. I jst hope all this time together doesn't go to waste. mm, idk. so saturday, the plan was to go meet my dad for the first time. and boy was I nervous. I couldn't think, I could hardly breathe, I was shooken up inside all I wanted to do was cry. I don't even know why. but it didn't happen. I didn't get to see him. why? I'm not sure. but the more I'm getting closer and closer to meeting him, the more I start to get weak. the more I start to crave. the more I want to meet him. eh I think ill end it here for now. hands are cramping I'm getting tired. goodnight<3

the worlds falling apart. not just the world, but the people inside of it.

I'm stupid.

yeah I know, I shouldn't have took him back. But I did. & I don't regret taking him back. I'm just scared now. More than ever to fall in more love with him.

I fucked up.

hopefully it's not to late. :/ eh not feeling the greatest today. god please help me.

True Love?

The greatest irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life... and still you sit there praying that they will soon realize how much you truly mean to them. And sometimes you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to waste the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again, For some they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, Love is always present. its just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little. As we all know that the heart is in the center of the body but beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times and faded memories, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or stranger. So here's a piece of advice; let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough, and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more. Surely then, you will know true love.

So yesterday as I was in the car ride home, I was looking out the window, admiring the outside for once in like hella long . I asked myself if I was truly happy.. And you know what? I honestly think I should be truly happy right now. But I'm not, because I feel like I want MORE out of what I already have, like I'm not fully satisfied.. and yet I'm being selfish once more, I mean what more can I possibly ask for?? I thought maybe it's my dad, but I don't know, I already have my other family at my side, I'm so close into meeting him, yet I still know nothing of him.. & like why should I mop about it now? I never mopped before. I was doing fine then, I'm doing fine now.

Maybe it's just this love thing that's been building up on me. Maybe I should just stop because I am way to young for it. He's already gotten past the fact for it already and now its like he's waiting for me, in reality I'm really waiting for him, None of it makes sense anymore. But what makes sense in the world anyways? Everything and everyone is messed up in some mumbo jombo way anyways. Who cares? I sure as hell don't. I just wish there was something to remind again that life isn't dandy at all. I already feel like my life should end now. can something pick me up now? I'm falling , and I don't want to fall no more. I can pick myself up, but I need more strength than my own ..

I don't know, I just really miss him.

- on the bright side, my grades are really good right now :o) except for that one C. lol the rest is like As & Bs.

biggest mistake - javier

I'm not sure how I feel at this moment.

well this weeks been a bit frustrating. I don't wanna get into details. All I know is that I'm still bruised from it.. I'm desperate for god right now, and everyday. I'm love sick. I'm helpless. Homecoming's around the corner.. Not too excited as I was before.. well I don't know.. hopefully things will get better soon. I feel sick.. I feel depressed but I'm not.

fnaklfhalhanceiheighahg

another day , another .. ?

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I hate early mornings. Missing my babys.

daddy's little girl?

YEEEEEEAH, so I just got back home not too long ago from spending time with my otha family. I had a great time!

- uh , so I found out my dad's in jail for some dumb reason. I hope he's doing fine. Well I don't know. he's never been okay from what I hear. He's never been the same. I wish I could meet him, but my scared ass doesn't have the guts too. Everytime he's brought up I break down and shiver inside. He was never in my life, how could it be that he makes me feel so helpless?

Crazy, I miss him.. well I can't miss him, there's nothing to miss.. I just want him.

-__-

Don't you just hate it when someone you want doesn't know what they want, yet they act like they do? yeah it's stupid. no better yet, I'm stupid.

I am really excited for the starfield concert tomorrow!!

Gah, It's been awhile since I've been THIS excited to go out and do something besides going to church.. Lol wellllllllllllls olti is complaining gota go.

This isn't right at all. I really want to be with god right now. I am so happy I get to go to youthgroup tonight. I feel bad though for not helping out olti.. but It's okay I'm always gonna be here anyways. I can never miss out on my god. Anyways, my dear .. my dear..errrmm.. I don't know what's going on. I'm a little scared of what's going to happen but I have to accept how things are now... even if I don't like it..

write more in a bit .

- okay so I just got back from youthgroup. nd it was great as always! I brang my little brother with me :] haha cute cute. anyways I'm still confused though. I'm lost. AND I DONT LIIIIKES IT.

guilty is charged

Wow. I never knew I could feel so guilty about taking someone's love away.. I don't even know this person. I didn't even mean to. I don't know if I should feel happy because I have him, or sad because he's not suppose to be with me.

I can see that this person really loves this guy. I know that they really loved each other. I feel how this person feels. I know how it feels & it's like the worst feeling ever. I feel like he should turn back to her, but it's like I don't want him to be hurt anymore because of this person. I don't know. It's like when I read what this person had to say, I feel like things aren't right anymore. It's weird. I shouldn't feel this way I should just forget about it because I don't even know this person.. But yet I have empathy for this person.

I feel like I'm just a re-bound now that I think about it. I'm never gonna have the real thing like this. Their's is real. He doesn't deserve me, he deserves her even though that this person put him through a lot a lot a lot. like a lot. The love was still there. He asks me to help him get over her. But that is so hard. How am I suppose to get rid of her? All of the memories, 3 yrs of his life? I can't do that. I can't . I want to be there for him I do, I just don't think it's right to be here anymore. I don't want to cause anymore pain, suffering or missing. SHE needs him as much as HE needs her. He may say that he would never want that again, that he's done with it all. That he doesn't need it. That I'm helping him get his mind off her already. But I see it in his eyes that deep down he still misses her. He may not want to be her anymore. but he misses her. he loves her. they have so much in common together. I somewhat like the things she likes. It's not easy for me esp. that I have so much feeling for him now.. I don't know what's going anymore. I don't want to loose him. but it's like something I'm gonna have to do sooner or later.

God I hate the fact that I know that things between him & I are never gonna be the real thing. I can already feel it in the back of my gut.

Unless I'm wrong about all this and things between him & I do become real I'll like that. BUT until then, I don't even know..

UGH, does he even really feel the way he says he does? Does he even feel the same way I Do?? is he even going to be something to me that I could call love? Is he just talking to me to get his mind off her? What's even going on? What's even happening? Why am I even thinking about all this? Why are there SOO many questions yet there's like one or three questions to be answered everything left unsaid? What is it? Is this suppose to happen? Everything happens for a reason. What's the reason for this? Is he ever going to get over her? I'm being selfish and all I want from him is love. He's not gonna give it to me I know. Why can't I just wait ? Why do things like this always happen to me? When is it ever going to be my turn ? God can you answer that for me please? I know I don't need anyone to be happy, I'm happy already with all the things that I have. But it's like everyone loves. UGH I know I'm too young for love. Maybe it's just not the time for me yet. I should stop complaining. Everythings fine. Why am I complaining? I don't know. I'm just.. tired.. Maybe I just need to be more careful. Or maybe I should just shut up and forget about this. yeah? Yeah . I should just stop myself here & wait. I'll just be here for him, he needs the help I can't be rude and leave him thinking too much . I can't . I understand how he feels. I'll just be here for him, like I've been doing. And I don't know, maybe I'll be wrong about this and things will change . Who knows, I just gotta have faith.

silly rabbit, trix are for kids

haha so it's thursday morning & I have to go to school in 6 minutes. make that 9 minutes. Anyways I just got done eating my breakfast. and it happens to be MR SAM BACK'S BIRTHDAAAY . YAYYYYY haha. whoooo , hopefully I get my geometry hw done tonight. I hope EVERYONE is doing good. If not , go fix that man. Well yeah don't you just hate it when you eat cereal and there's that weird feeling at the top of your gums? Yeah I hate it. But uh.. Yeah happy happy birthday nacho haha. I reaaaally want to go to the puyallup fair ;( someone take me? And last but not least, it's soo close to being winterr! <3 <3 yesss. snowsnowsnow :D Mk I think that's all for now. fairwell!

It's 9:18pm on a Tuesday night. Today was the day I had to feed my frogs + fish. haha Um it was also my first day @ work, AND first night I made dinner! :D It was delicious I must say. I made Shitake mushrooms with basil tomatoe & feta cheese pasta.. mmmmmmmmm. Bringing some for lunch tmrw ;] Anyways, tell me why people just like to irritate other people? It's just annoying. Hahaha, those irritating fqrs. 1,3,5 tmrw, and I think it's gona be a good day ;] Anyways not much to say, I miss my ray. Goodnight!

hate is easy, love takes courage

So it's getting pretty late and I have to wake up in like six hours for school.. I don't even think my alarm clock is working O.O hopefully it still is.

Nothing blogworthy for tonight.

FML. lol

hi

you'd have to jump off a cliff in order to know how to build your wings to keep yourself from falling.

ray bradbury

People ask me to predict the future, when all I want to do is prevent it. Better yet, build it. Predicting the future is much too easy, anyway. You look at the people around you, the street you stand on, the visible air you breathe, and predict more of the same. To hell with more. I want better. - from beyond 1984: the people machines

If you can't read and write you can't think. Your thoughts are dispersed if you don't know how to read and write. You've got to be able to look at your thoughts on paper and discover what a fool you were.

personal history

project - checked

reflection eternal - nujabes

makes me want to just sit, stare and maybe read a book out on the lake.

I am wanting... so many things. ( or just two in general )
I don't know what I should do but to grasp whatever I can get a hold on to. So far so... calm.

I feel as if I'm missing something that I need. ( I have a feeling it's two people )
- my dad
*my dear... ?
^ I'm not even sure about that second one... Let's just see what god has in store for me as I keep moving.

- ugh I should be sleeping .. but I can't. I keep staring up at my ceiling. Wondering what the stars look like tonight. My parents are out and I'm keeping an eye on lucas while he's fast asleep.

I want something to happen. Something that would like change my life, even though everyday of my life changes. Gosh, I'm being so selfish I want so many things right now. All I can do is wait. wait. and wait. I mean it's not bad to wait, it's just I've been waiting for so long.

I keep giving and giving, leting things slide making everything ok again. I keep my mouth shut. My mind wide open. I suddenly want get by with things fastly even though I shouldn't. live life slow and love every moment. I'm longing for _ existence in my life. I wanna be completely satisfied ( which I am ) and feel amazing ( which I don't ) ray's right, maybe I do complain to much. but there's nothing I'm complaining about.. I just want . Forgive & never forget yet I pass by it. Oh how I wish that it was summer again, I really need to get out of here. Time alone in the quiet with nothing around me but nature itself. Maybe I should just forget about all this once more and just keep going the same way as usual, in time it would change. I just need to stop being so selfish and just be patient. I waited so long, I guess I can just wait a bit more. Sorry, but as I write down what's on my mind, everything get's a bit more clearer for me. I just need one thing.

& I need god...


random thought : I wonder if it'll ever happen..

illusion

so im on laying in bed on rays phone. and he's asleep. :) he's cute when he sleeps. lol anyways its hot i need to pee. so yesterday i went to the hospital. pray to god for rays grandma :( um i want fruit roll ups. i cant wait til the student store opens. anyways im gona get going now. haha peas

feeling good today

realer than a pick up line - antbeezy

invented sex

Oh man summers over :( It was great while it lasted. First day of school was today , oh man how gay was it. it was surely really odd. Damn it felt hella empty , I miss seeing my senior walking around campus :( *cough*ray* . :) haha and all the others, it's just see weird . It doesn't feel right most likely, ahhaa all these new freshmans, they get on my nerves, not because they're freshman, because they use to always get on my nerves anyways when i was in einstein. haha damn . oh wells, Two more years and I'm out! :D sighs, feels like freshman year went pretty fast. oh gosh, time is going way to fast, damn .


well to wrap this blog up , I'm so happy now that I've found someone. Not that he's mine and all that, just someone I met that I'm getting to know. It's ... nice :)

I want to make you feel like you belong, because you do belong- with me.

- saw this on nikks blog. I can totally relate.

go away.

wow..

it's been awhile since I came on .. well hm, let's go back in time.. hahaha so um i just got back from hawaii like last week , it was great! did a lot of swimming snorkeling hanging out it was fun love it there, It's so relaxing, except for the part where you get sunburned -_- yeah and now my shoulder and back is starting to peel... EW. GROSS. anyways um I got back from visiting maliny & the baby! great to see all of them again, I miss them.. um , I cant wait to go back to church, I need to start attending more than just youthgroup -_- Gotta stop being busy, Anyways me and ray Are back to good now, I think .. except this morning when I left it was kinda off.. I don't know what's up with him. But I know it's not any good. My neck hurts, I'm at work, and I wanna take a nap but can't! cause I gotta answer phone calls til 4 ! yikes. haha well I think Ima cut this short.. Peas<3


- oh yeah, going on a lil rough part of life right now, don't really know what to do, but I'll get through with it sometime.. Just wanna be closer to god that's all I need right now.


- change of plans . not gona be home til 7. getting paid 13 bucks an hour for this! hahaa woooooooo .

reading time :]

So hm, lately things have been interesting. aha most likely shocking. but overall I guess it was pretty good. Anyways I'm at the library cause I decided I should take up my time and do some reading again. It's been awhile since I've actually sat down and read a nice book. There's a lot of things that I haven't done in a long time. Anyways , so I got a message from a friend and he told me that sonsak wants me to write to him and he gave me the address. I'm debating whether I should or not. What do I have to say to him? haha, I'm still thinking if I still want him to be in my life or not, you know? Just as friends. I did want to be friends after we break up and all, but he's still a little awkward... :/ haha maybe I'll just say hi. Yup , anyways . Things with me and my dear are great now. I think ? Well I hope so , haha. Come to think of it , he actually makes me really happy(: I'm glad. Ahhhh let's just pray he's not the bad guy . hahaha op, gonna go look for some books now, I'll write later. Peas<3

Um.

SO, most people have been asking " What do you want in a guy "

well I lay out the basics . But what I really want in a person, is someone who can see past my past, and still be able to accept me for who I really am today w/out a doubt. Someone who can still be here for me even when I say ' I reaally don't want you to be here ' even when I cross the line, or put my foot down. I want him to be able know me mostly inside and out , and still get the better of me. Someone that can read me, and know how I really feel, someone to understand. Someone who can play fair.

that someone , the someone that mostly everyone wants but no body gets it, because they're not even like that themselves when they should be.

misery

gone away , Feeling good today .

:] so went to go hang out with some of the church people for awhile haha and We ate pho . wowwwiowowowowow in this crazy weather. then something got in my eye and I rubbed it , and I totally forgot that I touched jalepenos so it was like BURNING I couldn't even open my eye it was tearing up like crazy, gosh, that burning sensation was not cool. eventually it got better, haha it's still kinda burning though. oh wells, I guess I'm not gonna do anything now, pretty much bummed out now haha yeaa.. this is gay. um, yeah that's pretty much it , haha peas<3

it is EXTREMELY hot.

So I'm just chillin in my garage haha cause it's nice and cool :] My neck hurts, um let's seee, this week is gonna be great! hopefully ;]

Heat waves

killing the shiat out of me -_-.


haha welps, I just got done tanning & taking a nice cool shower like about twenty minutes ago :] Um , I missed pista :( sad, but there's always next year, haha same with church picnic. ANYWAYS, rpm & I have been great so far :] good good. no more complaining I like it. hahaha anyways I don't have anything blog worthy today . So yeah peas<3 :D

church church church .

at church EARLY. -_- ahahaha no one's here. I'm hungry, tired, and apparently coooled down . :] Um, small groups today, yay ! new small groups OH NO .. hahah but yeah um hopefully tonight will be a good night :] ray comes back from LA tonight! waaahooo~ :]

complaining

no more. I gotta chill. I'm calmed down now. here's a lil something:


One day your are going to want that guy. That guy that knew he wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. That guy that could make you smile and laugh all the time. That guy that wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way he could. That guy that sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That guy that treasured part of you no one even appreciated. That guy that realizes he can never have your heart but will always carry an imagine of yours in his forever. That guy that should have you but doesn't. Even though, that guy deserves you...

Trust..

sucks ass. Especially when You're trying so hard to gain it from someone. -_-
It's like , why should I give my all to make him believe me, when he's only thinking about what I did in the past. Seriously, the things I did in my past... yeah It's not who I am. I don't know why it happened, I guess because of out of pity ? I mean c'mon, I have waaay to big of a heart. What can I do? I can't be rude to another person for shit. I'm always ended up forgiving them, no matter how disrespectful they were to me. I may treat them differently, but I'm not taking them back.


The thing about RPM & me. - well it's a lil complicated now for me. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just stay single for the rest of my days. But heck I don't wanna loose a good guy like him. He's getting really confusing to me. Like he says one great thing. and then says a bad one. Like it's making me feel like an idiot, not even that just pathetic and stupid. It's making me feel like shit as much as he's making me so happy again. WTFRICK. Like he'll tell me I'm everything he ever wanted , then he's thinking of me as a bad person. like he keeps thinking I'm lying to him, hiding shit from him, He thinks I might go and play around with someone else. UUUGGGGHHH , it seriously irritates me when someone I really like, (yeah him) Is gonna think of me that way when I'm telling him SOOOO many times that I'm not like that. I'm not gonna do all that. & PLUS I already made a promise to him that I wouldn't lie to him ever. I've been keeping this promise. & I'm not gonna break it , because I don't like it when people break my promises. why should I break theirs? You know whata I mean?? It's like it's killing me inside how he thinks I'm such a bad person. & it's really hard to try and convince him that I'm not like that, like If I could , I would fly down to LA right now, and tell him face to face cause I'm tired of sitting here thinking about all this all day long. I gota let it out , and the phone is not gonna work. Nothing's gonna keep my mind off of it. fnaklnfvaklshiowe it's making me mad, cause I let myself fall again for someone whose not even feeling the same way anymore. Someone I thought was actually gonna be right for once, isn't . He may be everything I ever wanted in a person. It's just I'm not the one for him.. -_- GAAAAH it's bugging the SHIAT out of me. I know we told each other that we'd build a friendship first, but man it's like we're already together we're just not official. I really want him to see that I really care about him, That I really like him, & I'm not gonna wanna do anything to hurt him. But he has to fuckn trust me first. HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA HAVE SOMEONE TRUST ME WHEN THEY'RE ONLY THINKING OF MY PAST!? THE PASSSSSTTTT. UGHKLASNFKLANKLHNILHALINFKN I don't wanna loose him. I don't wanna drop him. No not someone like him, no I'm not gonna. I'm just gonna sit here and wait til he can trust me. & if it's too late, if he decides to leave then okay, I'll be there for him, As long as he's happy then I'll be fine. I really care about him. Like he's really something special to me, he's getting quite important to me and I know I'm saying a lot for only a guy I've been talking to for a few months now. I know I sound really childish right now, I know I'm not suppose to let myself fall now, I know it's way to soon. But what can I do when I feel like I'm in love with this guy??????? O.O OMG . I know I'm not, but my god, the feelings are getting crazier and crazier each time I talk to him. Am I loosing it? Yes. I probably am. oh gosh. Someone HELP me please!!!



nsvkl angvalhgal hlh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH . this is not good -_- this isn't good at all. Why am I so freakin attached? I sound like a frickn desperate lil girl . aaaah , I'm gonna cry :( I wasn't suppose to be attached like this. I can't get enough of him, Maybe it's just a infatuation? Maybe I'm just being blinded .. Maybe it's the real deal. NO . Maybe it's just I like him to much and I'm around him too much. Yeah maybe that's it .. maybe maybe. wth is it!? DUDE I SOUND SO RIDICULOUS RIGHT NOW ... O.O I need to stop typing. okay now. Errgh If he reads this, I hope he doesn't think I'm some kind of a psycho or anything.. hahahah crap . maybe I should erase? No . Maybe he'll get the picture, that I'M GOING CRAZY OVER HIM WHEN I SHOULDN'T BE. AND HE SHOULD FORGET ABOUT MY PAST AND KNOW THAT I'M SERIOUSLY NOT A BAD PERSON. :( I have such a good heart. I really do , it breaks me everytime when someone thinks that bad of me. Especially from him ... (only him).



guy, I sound like a crazy person. He's gonna wanna stop talking to me after this . -_- he's probably like, " dude this girls crazy, " hahahahaha. crap. I don't know anymore. I'm just typing cause I have nothing else to do. Maybe I'll go to milaines? Yeah, I'll go . hahaha k peas. thanks for your time, have a nice day.


KEORA PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN . YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE, YOU'RE MOS DEFINITELY NOT IN LOVE. YOUR NOT FALLING ,SNAP OUT OF IT. You're way to young this is all too soon. You & him are just friends...


(I'm writing all this down and not erasing,
1. because I need to see how weird I was thinking haha
2. Because to let him know how I'm feeling, and the feeling is very complicated
3. out of random thoughts I really don't care if It's public, I need to let this all out somehow.. I can't hold it in much longer.)

So last night, I didn't sleep til 5. -_- Um christian came over. yeah, that wasn't so nice. But on the bright side, I got a phone call this morning frm my baby! :D Made my day yesterday, I was so happy, haha like grr. Anyways the phone call, turned out to be pretty bad. Got strike three & I don't know wth is going on. :/ I'm so bummed out cause I got it. Shit, How stupid can I get? Hopefully nothing happens. I don't wanna loose him yet... >:l

Summer bores.

THERE'S NOTHING TO DO. Summer's ending real soon. Gosh darnit. I want a miracle or something, someone suprise me please. haha I'm dying. I misssss my baby :( ROOOAR. SO I just got back from milaine's and I forgot my keys inside my house and I got locked out, so I had break in from my brothers window, hahahaha shiiit, and like just like five minutes after I get in, my moma come's home -_- gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Wish I could see my baby!


- it is 10:48pm. and his phone's off -_- don't know why but I'm going crazy, I wanna talk to him soooooooooooooooooo bad. this isn't good. I miss him like crazy . :( gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah why am I so addicted to him!? blah, wish I could talk to him. Welps looks like I'm not sleeping tonight -_-

He's nice ;] Yes. Thank God!

not the best picture, hahaha but it'll do.

- oh btw, go watch this video it made me cry. it's pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

#

OK, so I pretty much spent the whole day with me deears. :] Laaahved it. Anyways we're making t-shirts, lol it's pretty cool, learned something new todays. OH and it was his sister's birthday dinner happy happy birthday to herr! :D wahoo. My back hurts. Tomorrow is gonna be a good day. hopefully. well i gtg, nigghtttt. peas<3

A walk to remember

such a goood movie! Got done watching again! I love that movie!

go watch it! haha again. that movie actually teaches you a lot a lot. well maybe not a lot a lot, but just the good stuff ;]

I miss my dear,

UGH , so today sonsak MADE ME ANGRY. yup, Realizing more, and making me so mad about how stupid I was again. But it's okay I'll get over it.

"good news is on the way, let the good times roll"

wedding shower

So today was a good day, pretty much spent it with ray and his family . hahahaha but he got me a new fish for my birthday!! :] it's a betta, named him GUPPY 2 DOUG :] yaaaaaaaay well it's like 2 in the morning and I needa sleep. So gooo night! :}

retreat!

I love brian na, it's my birthday ! hahaha , sooo retreat was HECKA FUN. Mon: Scatter ball & High rope course, Tues: Kick Ball & Canoeing, Wed: Bacon Ball & Mine Field Thurs: OH yeah that's today , hahahahaha we're going home. rawrrrrrrr! This bug bite on my elbow is itching like craaaaazy. Okay, last night was pretty itense. Pretty personal. & it was a really great thing. I saw the sunset by myself and prayed, hahahhhaa Yeha I'm a loner, but it was all good :] I got to know some people more and I got a lil closer to God :D . Milaine's camera sucks. I lost my voice and can only whisper. Lol everyone else lost their voices. I had to say, Canoeing & Bacon ball was the best activity. SO MUCH FUN. waahoooooooo! Can't wait to get home, every part of my body is hecka sore. Welps, gotta go, worshiping time. Peas<3



GOD LOVES YOU. For real.
- Keora do

the snack that smiles back ;)

hahaha so today was pretty gooood ;] didn't get to see that many fireworks but it was gooood, HAHAH so just earlier ray had a cake left so we decided to fire it in his backyard then run upstairs to see it through his window, so we lite it up, ran up two stairways ran to the window, hahaha and only saw it fly up but not the BIG BANG, cause his roofing was in the way -_- hahaha anyways I'm bouta go to bed. Gooo night Peas<3

tiredd

So FINALLY I see everyone once again at YG today ;] woooo it's been awhile. Haha YG was craaackin ;] got me hot cheeto puffffs! YESYES. only because KEVIN didn't wanna frickin share. hahaha Sam Choi said I have rougher hands than him, I need start puting on lotion on my hands now, I stopped xD hahahahhahhahahaa Sam back has THE most comfortablest sandles I've ever worn muahahaha, their like house slippers, BUT BETTER 8D . Welps, My baby went to gameworks for his cuzzo's birthday, So I'm just sitting in my roon waiting BORED out of my mind. Myabe I'll go take a walk ? maybe, iono yet, I'm kinda in the mood for some HI - CHEWS. YES, I want HI - CHEWS. mkay g'night peoples! Peassss<3

Hm, so it's been awhile since I came on, hahaha

welps, Today was a good day , cept for the morning, but then my dear came over and it got better. We sat at the park for awhile , hahaha it was cute . Then we walked to KFC and ate there, then edward came then we went back to the park chilled, went to the transit (figured we wanted bubble tea at pochis) so we're waiting @ the bus stop, and ray see's milaine walking and I called her over, so now it's us 4 going to pochis. Haha we walk inside pochis and we see sam back, andy, andrew, & cuong. Played 13 for a bit. Sam and them left, then later on jeff came in , hahahaha then he left , still we play 13. haha then we bused back to the transit, went to SSC for ray's registration stuff, and then we went back to the transit. Saying bye was pretty awkward, lol then me and milaine go back to her house, then we see her dad, so we hop in the car and we all go back to ranch 99, then pochis then safeway. Fell asleep in the car, got back to milaines, and now milaine's trying to fold stars, haha I'm on the laptop, and sooner or later we are gonna make some delicious ass brownies yo! Mkay Peas<3




- Missssssin my sweeet baby ray's.

summer's been okay , Haven't been really kickin it yet , I need a phone, I feel so out of reach..

mmmm so far , so good .. just waiting for that little something to happen . :]
Got to see my goddaughter yesterday ;] and my bestfraaan + lil bro. DUDE , Fkn XTNS gay ass pissed me off yesterday. It's sad to see how he's changed :( I miss him, and he's not coming back... fhalskhflahvlbkbhailghalkbjejbl f him. I don't need him.

Summmmer fresh

so this weeks been kinda crazy, hahaha um let's see, michael jackson dies, guppy dies and yeah . this weekend was fun :] Hung out w/ ray and his family, it was nice it was nice. HAhahahaha, but anyways I'm gonna go to petco and buy a new guppy. Peas<3

my baby - bow wow

niice ;]

ghfilaskbflsa

ANNOYING.
D;<

"im going into this world not knowing what i'll find but ..i've.. decided to follow my heart and abandon my mind and if there be pain , i know that at least i gave my all and it is better to love and ..lost.. , than to not love at all in the morning i may wake to smile , or ..maybe to cry.. but first , to those of my past , i must say goodbye" -2Pac

pho

mm, so sat. was really fun :] Sunday, was great :] gaaah, I feel so stupid though I should've went home , I can't believe I missed my english + world geo finals, AND I'm failing those classes -_- sighs, oh wells, I guess I can TRY to make up for it, but I guess is was worth missing though, :D although we did got sorta in trouble, I should've said sorry, but I was like hesistating, hahaahaha too nervous -_- ahigh ugh, it's only been like an hour since we saw each other & I'm missing him like crazy!! dog I needs me a car yo! facebook isn't really loading up right on this computer, I need a phone, & I have to poop. YES SUMMER IS HERE, I'm very very excited ;] . welps, peas out <3

happy faw dars day!

hehehe had a fun dinner @ my gmas, now at co lua's house spending the night w/ maleena! wahoo, gnight peas<3

DANG IT

wish I went to the church's basketball tournament -_- aw man, GOOOOOOD LUCK GUYS .

be with you - Dalena & J. Reyes

mm, so today at school was alright, hahaha nothing special but afta schooool yeah yeah ;] jess & milaine came over, we watched my CPE. HELLA CUTE ;] then we watched chowderrrr made some hamburgers chilled then jess went home, me and milaine & her parents went to the YMCA in monroe causae he had a meeting and we went swimmmmang ! :D niiice. haha then I came home and chilled for a bit and now I am in bed, haha g'night errone, peas<3


errrgh, i miss my dear :(

CPE.

coolest project ever. haha is now finished ;]. I wish there was more pictures though :( hahaa I wanted to put my EMMAUS picture but I can't frick'n find it anywhere! oh wells, well yesterday was okay , took a nap, had ray come over, haha he helped me wash the dishes xD muahhaha and um yeah I got hi-chews so I'm good to go :D . um, today I'm gonna be on a adventure. hahaha a cute one. NICE. aawright,

anyways so yesterday I talked on the phone w/ christian, and yeah I was crying dog. NOT CUTE. haha cause there was like snots coming down my nose onto my lips. xP sick. Yeah So pretty much , he told me that nothing can make US go back to how we used to be :( sighs, I really do miss him.. this sucks. On the bright side, I'm not COMPLETELY bummed out, someone else makes me really happy now & I'm so glad it's -him-. :) thank you rpm<3

SWHS GRADUATION 2009

Hm, so friday was pretty chillled, loove YG . Then saturday was koo, hahaha WAS suppose to go to my friend amber's going away BBQ, but me and jess got to lazy so we just made hamburgers at my house instead chilled till milaine got home, then got ready's for SSF, SSF was GAY. Haha but it was alrrright I guess. found out that nicole and sean broke up :( sad, weird though. ANYWAYS then I got home like around 1. at cherries for a bit, olti pissed me off. Tried calling my dear :( but the house phone was dead, and so I charged it , and they locked the downstairs door -_- so I was a little throwed off but I called him in the morning :] morning convo was not so pretty I guess :/ but oh wells, GLAD that I went to graduation :] sooo cute! awww, then I was like trying to find something for ray , but I couldn't find anything! So I had to go to some vintage store across from the graduation ( everett event center) and I found some pretty cool thaaangs ;] muahahhaa, ended up eating dinner w/ ray and his family at " Crawfish Kings " HELLA BOMB. hahahaha ;] then chilled at rays, went home slept and today OMG, so piiiised off, cause fuckn my alarm clock didn't wake me up on time, so I ended up waking up at like 9 got to school during 3rd period and I missed my romeo and juliet scene, so I got a ZERO -_- and I only had one fucken line. helllllllla gay, didn't have to go to fifth and sixth period cause we got to watch a romeo & juliet play, fell asleep for the last half of it, haha, I blew a bubble from my bubble gum, and I took the bubble and stook it on the arm rest of the chairs xD niiice. then went to fred myers afta school, chillllled, got home and now I'm just waiting till ray gets off so I can help him paint his stairs HHAAHA, my brother flooded the toilet -_- welps I'll write the rest of my day today laters when I get home from ray's. haha peas<3

pictures from sunday, haha well there's only like me & ray + some his familia. OH and me and nina from p.e :]

twit twit

twiiitterr, follow me ;]

http://twitter.com/himkeora

hot mama

haha so yesterday school was cool. haha after school we went to downtown and we kicked it there till like 5. oh and then i went to ray's , went tanning at desert suns with his sisters i got hella dark -_- hahah well ill write more later i gots to go . at the YMCA, peas<3

- okay So I'm at milaines now & I just remembered I was suppose to call my dear before work ... ahhh hahaha shit I forgot -_- well I'll call him later after work :] but yeah anyways today was a chilled day :] hopefully later will be niceee :] But I'm in love with this song at the moment

I dedicate it to .. you know who. hahaha

I just want you - Aj Raphael :

There's something I gotta say to you
But I'm so afraid of what you'd do
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I'll just admit to you this now
That I'm stuck on you like glue somehow
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Don't want to feel so cold inside
I want to feel the warmth that I feel with you, all the time
Surrounding me just like the wind
Cause your the one who makes me see...

Help me find myself, like how I found you
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I need you so we can leave happily too
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I just want youuu (X2)

I want to go out with you tonight,
A picnic with candle light I might just hold you tight

Tell me you want to be my queen
If not, it's ok. a princess seems just my type
I promise I'll be there tonight

I want to keep you warm when winters white
And make the summer walk on the beach
Sound nice, I need you know
To talk with on the phone
Baby I just want you to be mine all mine

Help me find myself, like how I found you
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I need you so we can leave happily too
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I just want you...

I want to be you Valentine,
Your Christmas wish, your pick up line

I want to be the one hwo
Knows about your friends and
Foes, and the TV.shows you love

Look up at the stars spell
Out your name with an
Exclamation point

'Cause at the end of the day,
You make Say

Help me find myself, like how I found you
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I need you so we can leave happily too
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I Just Want You, I Just Want You, I Just Want You,
I Just Want You, I Just Want You...

frustration..

OH MY HAPPY. Olti's a fucken bitch more than ever, I tried to set aside our differences but no he just has to be more of a bitch -_- w.e. I'm not gonna deal with him, he's not my family.


- I miss my dear :(

peas <3 g'night

DOWNTOWN

So today I hung out w/ ray all day xD muahahhaha, We went to downtown, at @ Todai, Watched Angels and Demons, um walked around downtown, met carwin & edward at northgate, went to his house chilllled, watched the wood/ played games then chilled again I was fixing up his coins haha , and then I came home, and yeah :] today was nice out, had a nice time ;] I miss him though :( shit, I wish I had a phone again, Olti's just a bitch though, HELLA getting on my nerves. xP shit.

Welps, G'nightt <3 Peas out

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE HAO :]

SO let's see , yesterday me & milaine went to the FILIPINO FESTIVAL. haha it was pretty boring , yet we managed to have some fun ;] tehehehe, me & coleen was trying to finish a caramel apple in two minutes, FAIL. everything's a rip off in seattle. haha but I did good deed :] I helped this old black lady buy some pop :] we saw edward, ray & carwin muahahaha. Um, hm, Me and milaine were trying to touch the water at the water dome thing, and my feet got soaked. then afterwards I went to applebees with ray carwin and edward, then I just chilled at echo lake :] cuuuuuuuuuuuute huh ? anyways today I had dance practice, hahah it was fun ! learned three new dances xD then after I went to my grandma's (dad side) and had a bbq cause it was my uncle hao's birthday ;] my aunt colored my hair, and my other aunt managed to put fake eyelashes on me, HAHA I painted my nails :] and yeah , I had fun! :D my armpits itch, OMG, freakin olti is pain in the ass dog.

welps , goodnight peas<3

mmm youthgroup ;]

Yeee today was hella fun! :] haha didn't really have to do anything in classs, haha so in first period we have teams and we're doing newscasting right? So our team is called " In the Zone w/ Keora Do " Cause I'm the anchorwoman. haha yeah I came up with name again ;] so this whooole week went by fast, didn't have to do much. 3rd period was the same haha. 5th period we played softball! :D laaahv it. then after school me jeserene & milaine chilled at mi casa, haha we took hella pictures! went to echo lake for awhile then walked to milaines to get ready for church! haha church was great! smallgroup was nice, then worship time was crazy fun! :D then I came home, washed the dishes , cleared my room a bit, and now I have to wait till tomorrow to do my laundry -_- I wished I hung out with my dear today though :( miiiissss him! :D hopefully I'll see him tomorrow ;D welps, I don't have anything else to lay out, hhaha but yeah peas<3 g'night!

hot spring day

soooooooooo, today I was suppose to go to the mariners game, but I didn't , ended up just chillin at the rec then went to go hang out with ray :] . mmm cute! hahah today was HELLLLLLA hot , and during 3rd period, we're working on scenes from romeo and juliet, and my team is called " the loaf of bread " hahahahaha cute huh ? well yeah , OH and the other day a spider crawled on my arm. Jeserene drew on my leg yesterday, she drew edward on my knee. &&&&&& yeah, I miss fruit roll ups. OMG , seniors have one week left of school ! shit I gotta finish my CPE project for digital photo. I need to clean my room too. Hahaha well it's late, got done eating a bagel w/ cream cheese, and some cherries, G'night! Peas<3

irritation

My eyes have been stinging everytime I close them shut. -_- so gay ! Maybe there's something wrong with it? I'm not sure, but my dear's so cute! :D hahahahahahaha OH YEAH HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO HANNAH KANG (yesterday was her birthday) ! muahaha she's gay for not coming to school. so yesterday me and nina walked to cromwell park to spy on allen & milaine, BUT they were'nt even there! They were at the the park by my house THE WHOLE TIME. Got tired for nothing. OMG, so there's these little middle schoolers at the park right? & freak'n they were hella annoying and shit, so nina asks them for a dollar, and this kid name ... started with a C, was like " shouldn't you have hella money? I mean you're asian right? " he sits next to me , and I'm like WTF, hella fuckn rude, hahaha so I crossed my hands cause I didn't wanna do anything cause they're fuckn younger than me, so nina was like " what're you trynna say? " he was like " asian's are SUPPOSE to be smart, why don't you have fuckn money? " hahaha I hella wanted to just take his head and bang it into his knees, but no, I'm nice :]. SO I didn't say anything, and his little black friend was like " He's the most racist kid you'll meet, he calls me a nigger all the time" hahha I was like " cause you're a fucken punk guy . " Haha and yeah so we just left cause we had no reason to be there. hahahahahahaah so we went to spartan gym cause nina had to fuckn poop. Nina's poop smells so bad! I'm glad mine don't smell at all ! :D SHIT, I'm like constantly clearing my throat, and my this irritation in my eyes are bugg'n the living shit out of me. hopefully I get done with my damn digital photography project. I sorta miss christian :/ he's been like ignoring me BIG time. I called him right? And he was just like " ahh ummm , I'll ... call youuu baaack.. " BULLSHIT, it's whatever though if he want's to leave me out then fine, Be my guest. I just want this damn eye shit to go away, it's been at it for like 1 week and a half now. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

- OH but the weird thing is, I've been craving my dear for the longest guy. AAAAAH I miss him.

welps , today is about a mere 83 degrees, Nice and warm out, a little cloudy but it's all good in the neighborhood ;]

PEAAS<3

Haha I forgot to imply

That milaine's first gecko (Tiki Tiki Tempo) has died in the first two days she got him, haha, and macho and mo are her two new geckos xD I'm sitting in second period and I'm hecka cold, I fell asleep through the whole 1st period.. -_- and my arm fell asleep. haha well I have to work on my CPE. so peas<3

Fun weekend!

SO friday was good! I watched up !!! :DD:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D hehehehhee good movie good movie, then went to church cried, had fun, um, saturday I pretty much spent the whole day with my dear, and then I baby sat !!! whoooo such cute kids :] heeee, Um then today had a photoshoot for kontagious, Had so much fun , haha and I ate ube. But I like ooooobay better, Now I'm sitting here chillin with camille and ugly. hahaha jk milaine. :] Um there's two new lil niggas, name macho and mo. the pa - ta ta team. um, yeah , I might get a hole in my sock. I'm gonna go paint my nails now, Adios , Peas<3>

today is a thursday

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? tomorrow's friday :} I'm happy. haha I loove fridays. Hm, today was pretty good, I had some fun laughs here and there, hahaha I did origami! :] total fail though -_- fuck'n desiree and her lazy ass couldn't even do it. HAAHA, but yeah I got done with two of my tests! Feel pretty good, it's hot , I miss my dear :/ I can't wait for this weekend! :D I'm so excited hehehe, well to wrap this blog up, filipino girls = drama/stupidity. yup. well most of em. Aightttt G'night Peas<3

Dayum

People are crazy  . hahaha

Ly-Bur-Ray

Okay So I'm at the fairwood Lirbary with Maleena :] Bouta walk back to her place and we're gonna go have some lunch . Or is it dinner time ? Haha not sure but we're gonna eat! Then afterwards I'll probably go see my beebee, and then I gotsta to study for two tests tomorrow D: yikes! but I ain't tripp'n, well I have like 3 minutes left on the computer so looks like I'm cutting this short for now. I'll write more laterrrr, k peas<3

tell em.

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

That's all for tonight folks. Peas out night bitches hahahhaha<3

goodmorning

dude my  back hurts, my eyes are burn'n I wish I had icecream to eat.. hahaha 

memorial day weekend

So this weekend I went to ocean shores with my family! :D it was very very interesting fun and great! I'm glad I went, hahahaha I went horseback riding for once AND flew a kite! :D exciting muahahah we ate oysters on the beach and we roasted some corn :] mmmmmm, sleeeeping was very hot , hahhaha um we went swimming played in the sand went go karting , OH MY GOSH, okay so they had a slick track where they like wet the tracks for you it was hella fun cause you would like spin and what not, anyways yeah then we went bowling I won a couple of teddy bears on those claw game thingys and yeah , it was great , had fun :]



- actually, now to come to think of it, I really don't wanna be in a relationship. I don't want anything serious. I'm just willing to do something that will make me happy again. I really miss it. I just really hope my decision will have sonsak not fuck up anymore. I really don't want him hurting himself more than he is. :/

on the otherhand, ray has really been making me feel so much better. :] for now I'll keep that to myself and the people I tell too privately. I just hope that this is really my answer to my wish.. - that sounded really corny, HAHHAHAHA but yeah

Church day!

So I was thinking about deleting the last three blogs, but I thought, why not keep it? Haha so I'm just gonna leave it there..

Anyways , Um today was suppose to be my "GREAT" day (cause of church and what not) but I ended up not going because I had to help babysit my baby bro lucas. -_- So I'm sitting at me mom's office while she's writing an offer on a house for my Aunt, & Lucas is sleeping like a baby. Haha, I'm starting to feel.... nothing. Weird?
-Eck, the shift key is all stickyyyyyy! too lazy to clean it, not my keyboard anyways. hahaha but yeah Um, Can't wait for this weekend! Going to ocean shores with the familia :] yes! Sad that I don't have a phone no mores :( oh wells, I find my ways , hahaha man i really wished I went to youthgroup today, it would've been a better week for me.

miss'n my dears, peas<3

Bank Day

Hm, So I guess me & my dear couldn't help BUT to talk again. I feel much better. I'm just not fully happy yet.. Um , yesterday was great! :] but kinda "fast". Which was bad, but it felt right you know? I hope this works out for me good, I don't wanna end up making the wrong mistake. I sorta feel bad you know, only because of the whole sonsak thing, But it's okay I'll feel perfectly fine after a week. 

falkfa I'm just scared.

<3peas

decided, & unstable.

So I made my decision, I don't want to be with sonsak anymore, and I went through with it. I just got off the phone with him, It's done. I'm done. I feel pretty relieved, I'm just sad. I'm sad because of my dear. I guess we're not talking anymore... :/ I'm glad that he's very respectful & understanding and is a good guy. I can't believe it. I lost 2 very important guys in my life, Christian & Sonsak , & 1 guy who could've became much more. I didn't really lose them, I just had them slip away, because of my choice in living. I miss them all . It's pretty bad. I love sonsak, I care about christian, & I'm falling for my dear. GAAY. I feel like such a baad person .. -_- I dropped two of them , for one though, But that one turned our chance down so I can be happy, because he cared :/

I hate the opposite sex.

g;night peas<3


oh yeah today was good though! Watched movies again at Thornton Place :] muahaha I love my girls<3

Thornton Place

Haha so northgate mall's NEW movie theatre open today !! :D $2 moviesss :]]]] teehee I went with my dear <3 I enjoyed ittttttt ;] anywayss we watched paul blart, that one cop movie, I sorta fell asleep. HAHA But it was an okay movie, Um , during fifth period I was doing cartwheels and what not, tried learning how to do a black flip -_- I failed. -_o_- whatever. anyways after school we picked my brother up from school., HAHAHHAHA his friends are hella rude! BUt yeah then I had a little " Puzzle Party " HAHAHHAHAHA Fuuun, then I went to the movies and yeah, gooood good night :] Laaaahv it. Anyways goodnight peoples , peas<3

gooood morning!

haha so um, I woke up at 7:27am, Missed my bus and got to school at like 8:25. I got to school like five minutes before 1st period ends. HAHAHAH we have all periods.  It is now 2nd period and I'm in digital photography, We have a sub today , blaaack maan :] hahahahha jk jk . but yeah I don't know his name, OP, class begins , He said his name is Mr. Hailey? HAHAHA , Um, he's kinda stuck up >.< anyways yesterday I cleaned my whoooole house! Cause no one was home and I got so bored .. haha I wanted to tannn but instead I went over to milaines. HAHA She lend some gauges and I got my gauges in ! WAHOOOO ! :} yeah I'm excited, muahhaa OH , and like around 9 pm , I was working on my puzzle, and I got a call from Albee, annnnd ... I GOT IN KONTAGIOUS ! YES ! :D haha I'm very excited. well Gtg pay attention in class -_- hahhaa peas<3

SUNNY DAY

Dawg, it's so nice outside! But I have NOTHING to do -_- I'm stuck at home alone . hahaha I think I might just go feed the ducks at echo lake.. hm, hopefully maybe I get to go to greenlake lata's w/ my dear. MAYBE. hahaha my neck hurts, and so do my thighs. I'm sorta pretty empty at thee moment. Welps I'll write later tonight , Peas<3

why did I have to be the super hero?

today was great! til it got to the end..

well first off, I had dance auditions for kontagious! Hahah It was actually really fun :] I totally failed at the dancing but it's okay I had fun :] then afterwards milaine had her little birthday party! ahahhaa karoake was greeaaat! so were the breadsticks! hahahaha whoa so me and anahi decided to do our hair really crazy, then I remember about the black lipstick so me anahi and jess put some on hahahahha then we decided to try to get tony, and that's how everything got crazy. we all went on a war with each other, trying to put lipstick , cake, chocolate on each other. jahahahha the only person who was safe was NINA. I'll get her one day.. hahahahha

- anyways , I'm seriously lost. I hate the fact how I get so close to people. esp. guys, and I can't just be close friends with them, they end up falling pretty hard for me :/ it's sad because I can't help save their lives. I really can't I'm so young . I just wish I wasn't so .. like me. I mean why ? fhajfbnalsjkfnbalnflkanvklanfaefbehvncvksdhfgaohanajklfhb this sucks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILAINE TOPACIO + CAITLYN CALDERON

Yeaah , - sorry I couldn't stay longer milaine >.< mama's gay .. hope you had a wonderful day though!

Anyways today was just a normal day.. it was pretty koo, I got to see someone like every period cept for sixth. HAHAHA, Got back from a friend's doing hw. I'm glad I actually got my hw done :] Hm, peaches was pretty convincing today ;] aha, I'm not sure waah to write down . I'm like going kinda koo koo. I wish I wasn't like how I am right now...

I feel so bad, like I don't know.. What should I do ? Should I stay...
or should I leave .. ?

well looks like I'm in a night of thinking again, welps g'night, peas<3

-hopefully tomorrow would be a GREAT day..

Rainy Days

Okay so this morning during 1st period I had the BIGGEST headached everrr! SO I went to the nurses office and took an hour nap, then I took this survey for school cause I was a new student, and I got a freee brownie! :] After thaat, third period came around, I drew/wrote some letta's . aha then lunch came, dino bought me my fruit roll up ! I hugged PEACHES :} and P.E we had a sub , and I layed on the ground, I did like 5 cartwheels, hahahahaha and afta school me and milaine watched Ray's CE. got out like at 4, and I left with my mama * wink * . I had lot's of fun actually , hahahaha but came home , found out where edward lives and then I came home ate, brushed my teeth and now I'm in bed writing this blog. Haha Okay G'night peas<3

suppose to be a thunderstorm

eh, today was sorta gay, haha hid from people during lunch and afta school, I watched this light video during science, OH and my math teacher came up to me before school started in the cafeteria and was like " keora you're doing soo good in math now, it's like you turned around and you're doing so much better" it made my day :] haha but I got to go to morning glory! haha, um but I had to leave because my mom wanted me to go with her to sammamish so i can help watch lucas. Um, got home around 5. Had to babysittt, then chilled at home for awhiles, ate spring rolls with the fam, then left to pochi's with hammer, drank bubble tea and played 13. nigga owe's me a fruit roll up. hahahaha he sucks at 13. anyways I think I'm bouta head to bed nows! :} peassss<3

R.I.P PRECIOUS

So I bought this cuuuute guppy yesterday , and it kind of died this morning because the water was really cold and I needed a heating tank or something like that... I guess it couldn't live. I wasted three dollars.. -_- I miss precious, ( that was his name ) sighs oh wells, looks like it's back to the pet store for me! On the bright side I don't have to worry about getting the tropical fish food! hahaha , well I'm in second period ( digital photography ) & I really have to poop. I already pee'd. Ray draws really good! I wish I could draw good... hahaha I suck. ANYWAYS My auntie and them said my dad was very artistic, maybe I'll become a better drawer, if I tried and not goofed off while I draw. LOL well I don't have anything to do, but after school HOPEFULLY we go to MORNING GLORY :]] yeeeeee, I can't wait! haha

- Edward Cho just looked my way :D hahahaahhahahaha but he turned and looked at the time. I wish I had some icecream I'm so depressed , my fish died. shit. haha I'm a bad pet owner. Oh well atleast GUPPY is still alive, His birthday is Feb. 14 2009. pretty sweet, he'll be 3 months on MILAINE'S birthday !!!!!! yeaaah that's two birthdays to celebrate! hahahahahha partaaay. syke I'm hella bored this is a random blog for today. I'll write later tonight, peaas<3

Today

Hm, nothing really happened, buuuut I bought a new fishy today ! I think I'll name him/her precious. Haha so I was at milaine's house & we're literaly singing different songs for two hours straight no repeated songs or nothing haha while my dear was on the phoness.

-ANYWAYS let's cut to the chase. Sloth. well I told him that I was falling for him.. and iono , it's kinda different . It's soooooooooo gay cause I can't like him, I'm not suppose to ! It's allll bad. Eh -_- I wish sonsak would frik'n talk to me ! dummm hoe. Anywhooooo I think I'ma cut this short for now. nothing really outrageous happened today but the fact I got three fruit roll ups and I pooped during P.E hahaha can't wait for tomorrow! MORNING GLORY <3

g'night peass<3

Mother's day continued..

Okay so yesterday I went to the Ranch Market with my mama, olti says " Don't buy too much crap " "Okay I won't I'm just getting stuff to make dinner "

haha okay so we're deciding what to eat for dinner, and we decide sushi today

Mother's Day (10:30am - 4:30pm)

So this morning I woke up to a call from my dear ;] at like 6 in the morning. HAHA, then I went back to sleep, woke up at like 8:40am, to a nice sunny day :] Made me feel warm & Happy inside. Then I thought about what was happening today & I got straight out of bed! ( getting ready for the day ) I was sooo excited, Today was the day I was gonna meet the rest of my family!!!!! :D whhoooo it was pretty fun, we went to church, ( they're catholics ) I met everyone, and when I met my grandparents my grandma cried when she hugged me, I kinda cried. Her sister hugged me, then she found out who I really was and she hugged me again looked at me and was about to cry and after we ate dim sum at Noble Court ( In Bellevue ) Anyways after dim sum, we went to grandma's ! Whoo, I sorta remember'd the house but not really, haha the whole time we were trying to look for pictures of my dad and he sorta looks like my brother's dad (Kian) but more like me you know? & I guess after we looked at alllll the pictures, nico's dad, co ut, and grandma was trying to tell me what sorta went down with my dad, and it was sad because it's gonna be a little while till I meet him again.. I guess he's in rehab or jail. one or the other. He's just not himself anymore, My uncle ( Niko's dad ) said that after my dad saw his bestfriend get show in front of him, he's just changed, he couldn't handle it and he thought that drugs could help him ease down a bit but it just got worse. But they also told me that just because he's not the same anymore or that he's going crazy, he's still a good person deep down and he really loves me til this day he hasn't forgotten about me. I miss him, Although I don't remember a thing about him.. It's sad, I cry at this moment just typing this down. I don't know, they were saying now that I'm revealed to another family, my family, I'm not alone and that I'm welcomed there whenever I want. They said it's not up to my dad if he wants to see me anymore, it's up to me. & right now, I don't know if I want to meet him. So I told them, I'll just wait. When he's better, I'll meet him. If he's not better I'll still meet him, maybe the answer to his problems is me. or it may not, either way a daughter needs her father more than anything in the world. Especially this daughter...

xoxo,
Keora do. <3

- Dad or Bi(bee), I just want you to know NOW, I'm sorry for putting you behind everything in my life, but I never forgot about you, it may have not got to me then you know, but now it is, now that I know everything. I'll pray for you each day til' I see you, and maybe even after that, I just hope you're doing okay, better than yesterday. better tomorrow, and from then on. I love you, even though you weren't in my life, I'll still love you even if you tend to not be. Until the day we meet again, I'll be thinking of you. & when we meet , I'm pretty sure that will be the happiest day of my life. ( exclude the day when I have my first kid ) lol

OH YEAH I forgot to include that my little cousin martin hahaha yeah after dim sum he was like " Look a bug!!! " He then picks it up and it's in his hands , Co Ut goes "Drop it now!"  "No It's cool!" haha then Co Ut turns around and martin THROWS at her, hahaha my uncle (Niko's dad) goes " why'd you throw it at aunty?" " Cause her butt was hungry " hahahahahahahah then he also touched a centipede at grandmas house , boy's nuts.

-well can't wait for later tonight! haha dinnner for my MAMA :]

BABY SHOWA

So today , I had to help my mom watch lucas while she was showing houses, so we left at 8am. & didnt come home till like 5. THERE WAS HELLLLLA TRAFFIC! like everywhere! Three different accidents on the freeways, and yaaah, so Nico and Dino came and got me and Jeserene at my house and we went to the baby shower ! Yaah we went to the park somewhere in lake city and it's hella fun there! hahaha there were these little egg thingy's and it spins and you sit in it and it's like a rollercoaster that doesn't move anywhere but keeps going round and round it was hella fun!! and there were these egg shaped rocks, and this big circle thing that you can walk on and it spins around it was fun there , hahah and Nico's little brother christian a got humped by a dog. Me & Jess ATTEMPTED to box, cause it looked fun cause christian and monique were and monique was kicking the shit outa of christian, hahaha well that's what happened today! :] 

g'night peassss <3

woo baby shower!

Okay so yesterday during church it was cool I learned about "RECONCILATION" I think that's how it's spelt ?but yeah Anyways, on thursday My auntie Teresa ( Co Ut ) came and picked me up after hw club and we went to go get pho at 5 seasons grill on Aurora. We talked for like two hours and it was very interesting I learned a little more about what happened between my mom & dad, and it was sad. I felt so bad, because if I knew this before , I wouldn't have given my mom so much crap! But yeah anyways today I am going to Dino Bonifacio's Dad's baby shower with Jeserene! :D haha it's gonna be kinda awkward, but fun ! Nico's picking us up at like 1:30. Anyways I'm hungry ! I'll write about the baby shower laterszzz. Peassss<3

craziest thing happen

okay so my aunt from my dad side found me on fb ! ( good thing I made one right ) haha anyways so we started talking , and I found out that she's my dad's sister. and I don't know my dad or that part of the family at all ! and the only one I actually remember is Niko because there's this baby picture of us and that's it . Anyways so like we started talking and we're sorta catching up on things. So I have three uncles, and three auntie's , and 4 girl cousins and 3 guy cousins. So Niko lives like ten minutes from me! teehee, anyways So I got my aunt's number, and Niko's number. Hopefully I get to meet them soon! Um, I also found out that my grandma is doing good! Um um, yeaaah I can't think , OH YEHA ! I'm sooooo happy now ! yeeee :] okay g'nightt ! <3

HAND SANITIZITER ME

HAHA what what in the butt?

I got my hand sanitizer! It smells like apple :] how cute! Gah I really hate this SWINE FLU shit, but hey! it all teaches people to be more clean :] which is a gooood thing. anyways Olti just came in the room and took lucas's blanket back. Man I need something to do right now, I would go outside, but it's too wet, & I kinda don't wanna trip, slip or fall on anything I already have enough bruises.

HAHHAA Oh yeah , when we were driving to fred myers, I was playing the license games with kian, and this is how it worked it out :

( drived passed a corolla, license plate # [33 .. ] can't remember the other part )

* punch * " DOUBLE THREEEEE !!! " :D
O.O . " wth are you doing?! "

hahahaha iono you had to be there, it was hella hilarious. okay peas out .

Falling

I think I'm kind of falling for sloth. This isn't good. Well I don't know, cool I'm falling, but man ... how about some sacks? Shit. I don't know what to do, I can't help myself! I can't just stop not talking to sloth he's like one of my bestfriends I can't ever loose! Like literaly. Hm, maybe I'll just prevent the falling part & .. shit I don't even know. Sighs. I don't know. I'll figure it out lata's..

but as for right now.. I'm chewing some Lush Five gum . Muahaha, & Lucas just got out of my hands, he's so cute! He's trying to talk now, but all you can hear is a bunch of loud noises from him. Lol yup yup. I was going to eat pho today, buuut people got to lazy from the rain -_-

You know the rain isn't that bad!

Damn people. F my life dog.

haha got done playing poker with the fam and their peer's . Won two rounds :]

cinco de mayo

so we're celebrating cinco de mayo, ...but we don't celebrate chinses new years or any asian events? Weird.

Anyways we have like two big bowls of jalepeno chips ! :D I'm very excited, george lopez`marathon and and we have like three different tortilla wraps. HAHA we got poker going on and I get some new hand sanitizer tomorrow! yeeee' I am pumped ! My leg hurts I'm like standing on my ladder , Yeah I have a bunk bed. haha I wish I had some ice cream.. hm, maybe I got some in the fridge . Hold up let me go check .

- Hahhaa yEs! we have some green tea one and mango one :] delicious. but I'm kinda craving rainbow sherbet with gummy bears, ya ? yeah. Welps, gotta go watch my georgy !!

xoxo, keora do

APPLE STORE

I'm on the new computers, Haha we actually have two of them at our digital photography class, Julie picked out a white dress from love culture for prom, I still have to pee. OKay ye ! :D 

stop being alike towards me.

this is gay .. it irritates me, how me & her are so alike. I don't even know her! and we already are the same -_- too bad she doesn't know it. HAHA that's the funny part.

anyways here's a qoute of the day : "Hope isn't something you create, it's something you let inside." - found it on john mayer's twitter.

my tummy hurts..
maybe it's because I'm laying on my stomach ontop of this hardware floor of mines in my room?
I have to find my keys. I know it's somewhere in this house! mm, I feel like playing volleyball..
I wish I had a car, so I can leavee.
GAH, I feel so broke lately, my mom's been holding out on me. lol I need a job. too bad I'm too young for a job yet. -_- gaaaaaaaaaaaay. welp , g'night

AQUARIUM

Wooot! haha I just got done doing the dishes.

I think I lost my house keys? I can't find them anywhere! aaah I just got a new key chain too -_- it says " SWEET <3 " Well it's a picture of a heart. haha it's like a box shaped form and it blinks! on the other side it says seattle aquarium :].

- Today EYE members and some ballinger people went on a field trip to the ... AQUARIUM . It was really fascinating . I loved it! HA We took many pictures it was pretty funb. I got to see my favorite animals! Sea Otters & Fur Seals :] muahaha I saw some unusal looking fish , and and I got to touch some sea creatures and some plants it was greaat ! haha I tried taking a starfish off the wall but some lady was like your irritating the creature -_- I just wanted to hold it..

Well I think I'm gonna go now , I don't really have much to say but I still need a new charger :( thanks dino for letting me use yours for a bit! hahahaha

Hm

So I guess me & sonsak are good again , which is good . just hopefully he won't do shit again to make me turn around and change how I feel.

NOCH'S BIRTHDAY

So saturday was Katie & Noch's birthday dinner :] it was at Bj's , But me,hailee,cheata,sonsak & vorlak had to leave early because Tamassa came with her " girl " and cheata wasn't trying to start anything so when we left some crazy bitch came out and was like " were you the one who fuckn hit tamassa and shit ?! " and cheata NEVER layed her hands on her at all . and like it was just to crazy, then she pointed at hailee and was like " you the bitch she be cheating on tamassa with for a year ? " then she started saying all this crazy shit and cheata was like " why the fuck are you gonna come at me like this you don't fuckn know me !?!?!" and yeah it was stupid because tamassa was telling them hella fucked up fake shit you know? but it's koo now, but i feel bad because tamassa isn't gonna stop making cheata feel bad. :/

APRIL 30th - MAY 1st

Hm, so let's seeeee, friday was jeserene's birthday !! :D I spent the night at milaine's thursday night because me and my moma got into a fightt -_- she sorta kicked me out .. lol but yeah anyways I went to dance practice with milaine and we called clint to see what time practice started cause we came pretty early, and he said he was gonna come, i was like BRING YOUR CHARGER FOR ME PLEASE! and he said okay anything for keora do :] I was like yes ! He was like you guys made my day by calling I was having a bad day, I was like whoa, haha everyone's having a bad day today, So I was like you made my day !! then milaine was like keora said you made her gay, on accident. LOL but yeah then I guess we went to big lots , and I had this "model walk" I was walking like that for ever she was the black girl I was the white girl. ahhaa fun fun fun. Then I got like hella hello kitty band aids from big lots. We got cookie batter and a ballooon for Jess and Linda. Wee ;] OH and some kind of jello fishy's. They were off the hiiiizzy. LOL syke but yeha then that night we baked a big J cake for Jess and we made them cards and what not. I wanted to get Jess a balloon that sings, but instead we got her Hannah Montana, and everytime it got hit I'd have to sing .. -_- haha but it was koooo . Then friday was the day ! everything was perfectly fine till 5th period. Freakin Nina was trying to lecture me about my mom and shit , I was pissed .Then we got into an arguement and she kept being loud, ( we were out on the track so of course EVERYONE heard ) it was the most stupidest thing ever. I was getting soooo pissed . And then I guess afterwards I came over and was like " Nina I came over to say sorry, because I know that your just being a good friend and trying to help me out, buut you can't just tell me what I should do with my mom you'r not me you don't know her so just stay out of that please" and she just walks away.. It was pointless I didn't even have to say sorry, cause I didn't do shittttt but it's whatevsss. then I guess afterschool we headed to jeserene's but instead we chilled at parkwood. Um, then me and milaine went to her house, anahi went to egwins :] haha jess and nina went to her house. Then bacon picked us up for CHURCH!! whooooooo ! best day everrrr. haha I guess thee whole youth group went out to the forest and we were playing Beacon ball. I think that's what it's called? But yeah It was very competitive and hurt ful . haha it was like there was two teams one behind one line the other on the other line. And there's a ball in the middle , so we all have our own numbers, and whatever the number is called out we have to run after the ball fight after the balll do whatever we can just to bring the ball to our side. HAHA It was hella crazy!!!! Me & ray were fighting over the ball a couple times and I guess he took the ball and I held on to it and two of my nails ripped offf ... it was like dripping blood! it was hella cooooooll! hahahahaha then me and jonathan had to go back to the church so I can wash up and stuff then like we accidently took the long way -_- haha i was like " AH ! I'm dripping! " then I stop by a leaf and I wipe my blood on there. hahahaha he was like " what's that gonna do!?" I said " Help prevent my blood getting on my clothes .. " haha " But your running with your finger out!" hahahaa anyways we got to church and then there's no first aid kit! I said " WHAT KIND OF CHURCH ARE YOU GUYS RUNNING WITH NO FIRST AID KIT ?!" he said " One without a first aid kit. " hahaa then I guess everyone came back and Ray felt sooo bad . Haha He was like offering to pay to get my nails done, I just hand painted them, haha SO I was like you don't have to , just buy me a fruit roll up on tuesday :] Then Afteer church They went to applebee's for Jeserene's Birthday & me and milaine went back to her place. Then I got picked up by sloth . :] hehehehe I slept over at HER house muahaha then yeah it was koo it was koo :] Welllllllllll that's all that happened then :D


- OH YEAH ! haha I rolled down the hill at school twice during lunch and after school just for jeserene :] then i got pollen all over me. HAHA and during p.e I had pollen in my eyes so I had to like cover my eyes and walk to the nurses office then she like flushed my eyes with some type of cool water bottle ! :D haha then Mr. Moreno let me wear his sunglasses so I don't get anything in my eyes :]

31 cents a cone

Okay so today, Nina finally said sorry. bwuahaha but we coo now. So in P.E we were playing badminton and we ran the mile run. My body felt sooo numb. After school me & milaine went to my house and we ateeee. Nina stopped by with Egor ( I think that's how you spell it? ) haha he's kinda cute, drives a cute car too, Acura RSX. K anyways Jess came over after her dentist appointment, and we took Kian to Echo Lake. We were trying to jerk ... HAHAHA I got it down , jess got it down. It was fun, then we took pictures and like yeah... After Dino Jimenez came by to drop off his charger so I can charge my phone! How nice. HAHA so as my phone was charging jess went home, I was watching baby bro lucas + tv. Then I took a nap, then dino texted me said he was on his way to pick up his charger, theennnn we went to go get ice cream at baskin robins!! woot woot. 31 cents a scoooop. haha His favorite ice cream, is mine -_- SO I got pop rock n' swirl instead ;] it was pretty gooood, I met his cousin N .. crap I forgot her name.. -_- I'm so bad at names, HAHA anyways I just got back and felt like writing about my day :]

- btw, sonsak still hasn't called, and returned none of my calls.. I'm getting kinda worried, I really don't want this to be official. I miss him. Maybe I'll go see him friday. Hopefully he'll be home -_- crap, I don't have his key anymore, so I can't really go in.... damn . sighs, hopefully he calls me soon .. : /

well here's some pictures from today :]

- So I'm on the phone with sonsak, finally. but he's pissing me off -_- I'm tired of his bullshit.

sonsak.

okay so like sonsak hasn't been talking to me at all. and I really need to talk to him , like I really need too. I do not want to be not with him, he's being gay . His parents called me and we talked and they were explaining to me how he's like fucking up and shit , and they like think he will listen to me and do good. -_- why ?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! I just wish I could talk to him, this whole situation is getting to me like seriously, I'm getting so frustrated ..


well I'm tired of typing my back hurts.
christian's being gay on the phone. lol goodnight<3

shit.

SO yesterday was hella stupid because me & nina got into a dumb little fight. over a damn fruit roll up.

You see what had happen was ... I asked Dino for fifty cents right? and Dino doesn't even know nina and jeserene. Soo He had the fifty cents in his hands and nina smacks it out of his hands picks it up and runs to the student store. I follow her and I ask for my fruit roll up and she runs off with it and I'm like constantly asking for it back but she ends up opening it and I'm like DON'T OPENN IT .. and I hate it when people open it for me unless I ask them too, and then she takes the whole fruit roll up , paper and everything, and sticks it in her mouth!
(who the hell does that???) Then I like her grab her wrist right? and I'm like telling her to give it back, but she's like no, and I grab harder figuring she'd give it back, but like It's not even that much of a grip you know, so she tries to break loose, but I hold tighter and she likes bites on the fruit roll up and I try getting it out of her mouth, and she's like " Ow, kk let go! " I'm like not until you give it back !! Then she likes breaks free, anahi's iPod falls, and She spits my fruit roll up on the dirt, and says " Gosh kk you don't have to fuckn grab me like that, all you had to do was fuckn ask politely" ...

I'm standing there like wtf!? You didn't have to fuckn put my fruit roll up in your gah damn mouth and spit it out, and I did ask you fuckn politely,

she just walks off, me and jess walk in the cafeteria after she buys me a new fruit roll up andd I see nina like venting to anahi or something and I think she's like crying or something ? I tell miliaine what happened and the fifth period she was acting kinda shady.

so today during star i guess she thought we were ignoring her, but we weren't even ignoring her, all she had to do was walk over, haha but she didn't instead she stood there talked on the phone and started crying again, and I guess she left school early?? I don't know why., but yeah andd now she won't even talk because apparently she's mad at me ?? wtf. she won't even sorrry for HER fault. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay friend. I know right? Now I'm just beginning to realize how much of a NON real person she can be. It's gay I Don't want to have double thoughts about one of my GOOD friends. ghagshnslnl a oh well, I didn't start this shit , so yeah she starts it, she says sorry first, then I say sorry back. that's it , but she's being stubborn and thinks SHE DOESN'T NEED TOO .

WRONG . she does.